Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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