Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my poor anus
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize