he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
