:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
