can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
