Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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