I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
