so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
