And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
