WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
