How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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