No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
