I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize