Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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