we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
