I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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