like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
