just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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