i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
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She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
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it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.