I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
