I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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