I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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