Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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