she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
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