God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
is wine microwaveable?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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