No stitches, just platelets and will power
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
