New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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