Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
