Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
