you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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