So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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