It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
