got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize