im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
