I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
