I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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