your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you didnt know i had herpes?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Randomize
