I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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