i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
