Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
