Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize