Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
