who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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