you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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