Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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