All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
