id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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