Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
