so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
