32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
