yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
