I hate your face
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
