dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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