why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
