just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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