after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize